Early morning phone calls Well, James’ Mother died early this morning. I heard my phone ring just after 4 am I think it was, but couldn’t find it in time to answer it. By the time I found it, I saw the message on it “missed call – Randy”. So I went and woke James up and told him that Randy had called. He tried to call him back, but Randy was already in the car on his way over to the house.

We got dressed and drove over to the hospice to say last good-byes before the mortician takes her to the crematorium.

We’d gone over earlier in the evening to visit. Apparently earlier that day, or perhaps the night before, her lungs had started to fill up again, and her breathing was very laboured and rattly. Just before we’d arrived, the nurse had given her some morphine to ease her breathing, and something else I can’t remember. She was pretty much out of it and asleep the whole time we visited, but she woke up just long enough to realize that we were there.

When we returned early this morning, we noticed that the nurses had given her a CD player and a relaxation CD to listen to, I guess to help her sleep after we left. She was flat on the bed, with her mouth gaping open. The least they could have done was close her mouth! Sheesh! Its rather disconcerting. I can only imagine how my James and his brother Randy felt seeing her like that. I can’t say that I was all that close with her, and after the months of pain and suffering she’s had, well, she’s in a much better place now. Wherever that is. I can only say that when my Gramma died in 1988, and when I saw her lying in her casket, I was a bit creeped out, but hers was the first open casket funeral I’d been to. A strange custom in our family. But there’s some difference in seeing them shortly after death, and then after the mortician has had them all dolled up. My Gramma was so done up, she barely looked herself. I think I will put in my will that I want to be shown “au naturale” ;-) Besides which, I want to be cremated anyhow, so no viewing is necessary really. Just toss me in the incinerator, have a good ol’ rowdy wake, and then get on with your life.

My mother in law wasn’t old, but she’d been sick for a very long time. Almost as long as I’ve known her (James and my 5th anniversary will be October this year). Two years ago she was diagnosed with breast cancer, right after she’d had a bout of pneumonia. After she completed her treatments for breast cancer, James’ father fell ill with cancer; then died in March of last year. Right after that Mother was diagnosed again, this time with liver cancer. She wanted to try to last until May, so that she could get to Laura’s (her only grandchild) high school graduation, but she’d had so many complications since before Christmas, frankly I was surprised she held on as long as she did.

So now here I am, wondering what the heck I’m supposed to be doing with myself. Yesterday evening James had given me a laundry list of things I needed to gather up for our business application, so I guess I should work on that. But he’s off to a meeting this morning, and said he wasn’t sure if he’d go into the store to work this afternoon as scheduled or not. Maybe I’ll just wait to see what he decides to do… *sigh* I just feel kind of in the way, not knowing what to do, or what needs to be done, or should I just make tea? Which is what I’d be doing if this were my own family, but the differences are so vast, its incomprehensible.

Anyhow, we’re moving forward with this business opportunity in Wisconsin. James has an interview on Monday next week, where he has to show our financial statements, etc etc. Then he has to go for a 2 day training class in Chicago next month, then after that, another week long class at the end of the month. Coming home between those two for our immigration interview of course!

With all of this going on, we have to ready our own home to list for sale, and probably James’ mother’s property as well. Not much work, if any, needs to be done over there, but considerable work needs to be done on our house before we list it. We’re not doing anything big, just cosmetic really, but there’s enough cosmetic work that needs done, its going to cost us a few bucks. We were debating last night whether to buy new furniture for the living room, so that the room wouldn’t look so shabby and dog-worn. I think we may be able to just get away with a new area rug, and to wash the slip covers on the couch and futon. I dearly want to tear off every single bit of cheap paneling from these walls, but we don’t know what’s underneath, and we don’t have time, or the money, to be replacing every single wall in the house.

All but the bathroom and kitchen are paneled with that horrible 1970s fake wood paneling. The kitchen is paneled with modular home panel, and the bathroom is done with a lick-n-promise dry wall with wall paper on top. You can see thru the wallpaper that the joint compound was not sanded, and when we tried to put up a towel rod, we noticed the almost complete lack of studs. How the walls are even standing is a miracle. For now tho, we just want to clean it up a bit so it will sell, and maybe give us a few bucks to put a down payment on a house in Wisconsin. We’ve been looking at the listings, and saw one that we both really like, that’s got a fair sized back yard for the dogs, and its affordable. Its recently been renovated and upgraded, so all we’d have to do is move in. It even has a dishwasher. Let’s just hope its still available when we get our business approval, and that we can get a mortgage.

Well, I must go do some laundry. And maybe see what skirts fit that I should wear to the funeral. I hope it doesn’t rain. The forecast says rain. Bleah.  ¶ 10:44 AM