Porn. Is it really? One of the message boards that I frequent has a discussion going at the moment about porn and what it does to a relationship. I haven’t responded in the thread mainly because my views greatly differ from the majority, and its 25 bleedin’ pages long and I got bored reading it.

The “problem” was a woman who found out her husband looks at “porn” on the internet, even after she told him that it bothers her and she told him to stop. So now he hides it. Most likely because she said it bothers her. In all likelihood, he was unclear as to what exactly it is that bothers her, the “porn” or that He looks at it. Now she claims that she’s only bothered now that he lied to her and goes behind her back to look at it. She found a pop-up link on the computer to women in skimpy bikinis.

My own experience on the internet is that those dang pop-ups can come from freakin’ nowhere and then won’t go away until you clear out the worm attached to them, but I figured she probably wouldn’t believe me if I said that. One day I was surfing thru a Druid’s website of all places, and a banner ad opened up a porn site pop-up that had a worm on it. It crashed my PC, I was mad! Was I mad at the porn? No, I was mad at the intrusive pop-up with the worm on it that crashed my PC!

Y’see, my opinion regarding porn is a bit different than the masses I think. My father’s Playboy’s and Penthouse magazines were all over the house when I was a kid, they were not hidden in a box in the garage (tho there were several stacks of them out there!) they were right there, under the side table next to his chair in the living room. Anyone could readily see them, pick them up, read them, whatever. My sister’s and I were “reading the articles” at a fairly young age. And yes, we looked at the pictures.

I don’t think it bothered my Mum, otherwise its unlikely they’d be out in the open like that. My parents are both open about sexuality and nudity (tho Dad didn’t wander around nude often, being the only man in a house full of, at one time, 4 teenaged girls, was likely a tad uncomfortable, and as 2 of them were fostered, could likely have been construed as, at the very least, inappropriate). My parents were “hippies” in a sense that their teen years were in the height of the 60s and they spent quite a lot of time in Yorkville (Canada’s equivalent to US Height-Ashbury in San Francisco). My Mum lived there, Dad flopped there. Where ever there was room to flop apparently. Sex and drugs and rock-n-roll was the order of the day. It wasn’t bad, it wasn’t dirty, it just was. At least, that’s my understanding of it.

I don't care if my spouse or boyfriend goes to watch strippers, heck take me along! I've been to strip clubs, and women behave much worse than men do in most cases. Its embarassing to see the women pawing at the poor guys, and yet if their significant other ever goes out, they go berserk.

To me, porn is not sex. Sex is not porn. Nudity is not sex, nor is it porn. Its all in the delivery. If you see a picture of a woman in a skimpy bikini in say Sports Illustrated, is it porn? No. If you see that same picture of the same woman in Hustler, or Playboy, is it porn? Not to me, but to some people, yes. To some people apparently, even in Sports Illustrated its porn. Any form of nudity is bad, dirty, porn. To me, its all in the delivery. Some photos in “porn” magazines are tasteless, but not because the subject is nude, its just the delivery. Just like some “dirty” jokes seem more dirty coming from some tellers than others. It’s the delivery. Some are crude and intend to harm, others just think its funny. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

I feel, that as long as nudity has to be hidden, as long as people find it distasteful, or dirty and wrong, then it will be something that has to be hidden. It will be something that will make people feel uncomfortable and ashamed if they’re “caught” looking at pictures or reading a story or watching a movie or whatever.

Do I watch movies? No, I think they’re ridiculous and boring. I work in a pizza shop, none of the delivery guys have come back from a delivery saying they were propositioned by anybody, like you see in stupid porn movies. Tho a couple of times they’ve been surprised at the door by a big fat drunk naked guy. *snarf*

Do I look at pictures, sure, if they’re there. I don’t go out of my way to buy magazines or surf porn sites (remember the aforementioned worms :-p ) I don’t think nudity is bad, or dirty. I think there’s a time and place for everything. If you’re on a nudist beach, or in your own home, or sunning in your own backyard, sure. Tho you may want to put a robe on when you order pizza ;-) Personally, I don’t sunbathe nude. I don’t sunbathe, period. I’m getting older on my own as it is, I don’t need the sun to prematurely age my skin so that I look like that lady in “There’s Something About Mary” *shudder* My boobs sag enough, they don’t need to be wrinkled too!

I was at a beach in Toronto one day shortly after the law allowing women to go topless was passed. There was a couple of young teenaged girls flashing their boobs at anyone who cared to look in their general direction. Ok, they’re young, probably raised their entire life told to cover up at all times. Then there’s a LAW saying they don’t have to. Woo Hoo! But, IMO, they, and others like them (teen and adult alike) were just perpetuating the adage that women’s breasts should be covered. They were flashing people like they were doing something naughty. Other women were just taking off their tops, lying down and sunning themselves. No big deal. No one was gaping at them, they were gaping at the young ones making such a big deal about being nekkid in public. This is my point, in a round about way. As long as people make it a big deal, it will be a big deal.

Some people, because of the way we North Americans are raised, with “good Christian values” are told from birth that naked is bad. Sex is bad. We should only be naked when we bathe, and when we have sex. People of the opposite sex should never see you naked. People of the same sex who are not your mother or your doctor should never see you naked (I wonder sometimes at the women in public change rooms at the gym or pool who try to dress and undress as much inside their locker as possible! Do men do this?) There was a time when even during sex you shouldn’t be naked. How boring! And, I imagine, static-y! :-o

The Vatican at one time defaced and de-genitalized paintings and statues that showed naked subjects. There are very few remaining in their original form, with breasts or penises still attached, or showing in all their glory, not covered by a later added leaf.

I was told one time by my darling husband that we couldn’t even put a nude painting in our home for fear that anyone who would come to visit may be offended. I have some prints that I bought at the AGO when the Courtauld Collection was showing there. Hmph! I’ve seen and heard some even say that if “art” is nude, its porn. Double hmph! Some people have said that the statue of David is porn, because it has a penis. The Venus de Milo is porn because it has naked breasts.

Recently a man was denied his immigration application to Canada because when he was inspected by Canada customs upon entry, they found naked photos of his toddler son on his cell phone. They said he was importing “child pornography”. Really? Since when is having pictures of your naked baby “child porn”? Every parent on the planet is guilty of that then! Who doesn’t have the cute nekkid baby on the blanket picture, or the picture in the bathtub? If you have shown it to family, or given them a copy of it, you are guilty of trading child porn. Imagine that! Shame on you if you’ve posted it anywhere on the internet! Hmph.

I suppose we should be glad its not so bad anymore that we need to wear skirts down to the ground and collars up to our ears. We can thank the Flappers of the 1920s for that ;-) Or that we’re not living in a country where women are covered head to toe. Propriety is one thing, but that’s just a bit much.

If we were meant to wear clothes, we wouldn’t be born naked. Yes, clothes are a necessity in most climates, it doesn’t necessarily need to be mandatory. :-p

  ¶ 3:00 PM