Life in general Yanno, its hard picking up your life and moving to a different country where you have only one friend. In my case, my one and only friend here is/was my husband. And sometimes he’s less than supportive of my homesickness and general discomfort with Morganton, North Carolina, and America. He has even on occasion said that its my fault that I don’t have any friends here, that I’m not doing anything to even attempt to fit in. Yes, he can be an ass. He has admitted as much. Admitting the problem is a step toward a cure as they say ;-)

The other day we took the dogs for a walk on the Greenway here in town, and went wading in the river. As we walked down the pathway to put a bag of George poop in the garbage, another dog came toward us with his older human. The dog looked less than a year old, chocolate lab, very cute. George dragged me the 20 feet or so toward the dog to attack it, and there was nothing, absolutely nothing I could do to stop it. I didn’t have shoes on my feet, I was carrying them because we’d just got out the river. I was putting the poop in the garbage can, and the leash was wet. Off she went to attack the poor little dog. James was at the time also struggling with Bruno, but James is obviously bigger and stronger than I am. George and I weigh probably about the same, and she’s got 4 legs to my 2 bare feet.

I got leash burns and cuts on my hand, actually drew blood, my shoulder muscles pulled, my feet hurt from the asphalt, my hip wrenched when she pulled me. My hand swelled up so that I couldn’t get my wedding rings off without soap and James’ help, and quite honestly I was embarrassed and frightened by George’s actions.

We got home, I soaked my hand under cold water and somehow we ended up in an argument. This happens a lot lately, James hears things that I don’t say. He twists my words to make them worse. Why, I have no fucking clue.

I left the house and went to Hickory for a few hours. I went to the book store, then to the cinema to see a couple of movies. One wasn’t enough. I watched The Omen, and then The Lake House. The first wasn’t scary, and the second was quite enjoyable. I highly recommend it.

This was on Friday evening. A while after I got home around half past midnight, I took a couple of sleeping pills and went to bed. 2 hours later when James came to bed I was still awake. I’ve been having a lot of trouble sleeping lately. An hour later I was still awake so rather than toss and turn I got up and listened to the birds wake up as I surfed the internet. Some 24 hours later, I finally was able to sleep again, I’d been up for well over 30 hours. Of course I had called in to work and said I wouldn’t be in Saturday or Sunday, there was no way that without sleep and with my injuries that I’d have been able to manage. Kenny was pissed, because that meant he’d have to work :-p

Anyhoo, today James is covering a shift at one of the stores and has got wind of a rumour that Kenny is planning to fire everyone at the shop who was hired by James, except for 2 phone girls “who weren’t really there long enough to be considered James’ crew” huh? So, apparently I’ll be fired sometime soon. James says I should get Kenny to sign a letter stating that I’m being fired because there just isn’t enough work to be had for all the crew, and that way I will be able to apply for benefits. I figure I should go in there when I’m next scheduled (Wednesday) and tell Kenny I’ve heard the rumours and have the letter ready for him to sign there and then. Whaddya think? He’s only firing “James’ crew” because he wants to bring his own crew (some of which he’s already brought in) so that he’s got people there who will kiss his ass and not complain about his laziness and shoddy business practices. “James’ crew” tend to bitch about how things are being run these days. And rightfully so IMO. Kenny’s a git. No idea how he intends to keep the store running and to keep his own job. Oh well, not my problem.

Lately I have just been so tempted to ship my ass back to Canada and not come back. I’m tired of life being up in the air and I have no say in the matter. It was like that for 4 years while we struggled with immigration, and now we’re back to that again with trying to close James’ parents’ estate and figure out if he wants to buy his own Domino’s somewhere and move. The other day he mentioned that he’s maybe changed his mind about having his own pizza business. And the estate is still not finalized for various reasons and he wants to move over to his parents’ house once he gets the deed. I’m very afraid that this will become permanent, and I really do not want to stay here. I don’t belong here. I have never felt at home here, and after 2 years of trying, I probably never will.

Have you ever had one of those…days…weeks…years…lives?  ¶ 4:33 PM